You Wanna Be On Top?

Ok, seeing as this is the first time I have ever actually watched America's Next Top Model in proper weekly fashion I have decided to live blog this episode. Especially since all my pretentious friends refused to watch it with me and let me to drink by myself. Thanks by the way...

So to get started....

I got super stoned and a little drunk. I watched two episodes of Bad Girl Club and about a half hour of the film version my favourite musical, Rent. I texted my boyfriend some cryptic messages (which were actually just lyrics from Rent/the ANTM theme song, “you Wanna Be on Top”.) I think he though that either he was on acid, I was on acid or I was a big dork. I am pretty sure he just assumed the third option.

So. About the episode...


Several points:

1.) The school girl outfits– totally ridiculous. So infantalizing. Aren’t these women mostly over 20?

2.) Really liked Marvita... until she was totally insensitive to the subject of FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION

3.) I super like Lauren’s look. Like of like Sarah Polley or someone Canadian. Also I love that she said she’s be perfectly happy at home watching home watching zombie movies

Oh!!! Crazy former ANTM cheerleaders!!!!!! So excited to see the twins!!!! Although I hated the uniforms, was super bored with the tired school girl fetish and I wished that Heather was there. Although she probably has cooler things to do. Like be cool and shit.

Tyra as the “homecoming queen” disturbing and creepy and homicidal. Like Carrie. She said she slept with all their boyfriends. Cougar. Just kidding

So much fighting. I have never seen so much fighting on a first episode.

Also, an aspiring lap dancer

So now for the serious stuff...

Fatima went though female genital mutilation. She said that winning the competition will give her a voice.

Even though ANTMs never really get anywhere....

But at least she might get to talk about it on the show. She was mutilated when she was seven.

Holy fucking hell.

Oh my God! One of the women is actually drinking her own breast milk!!!!!! So that her baby will be able to continue feeding when she comes home. Super bizarre!!! Kind of sweet but kind of weird!!!!

Curse of the Bro

Ok, first off, I cannot believe I am about to blog about sports.

So, those of you who watched the Superbowl on Sunday (or heard about it) know that people are generally ecstatic or depressed about Tom Brady's poor performance. What I am personally annoyed at is the fact that people are attributing it to the Curse of the Babe, the fact that Giselle Bundchen is super hot. Just like Jessica Simpson caused the Cowboys to lose by the simple fact of her presence. Eva Longoria dealt with the same thing.

I think this "theory" carries over to other scenarios as well. Rarely are my paired-off guy friends completely blamed for their actions- their girlfriends usually get the rap for whatever they have done to piss other people off (go home early, go to bed early, not get totally shit faced drunk.)

Because it isn't possible that a man could ever be responsible for any failure without the help of a woman- how else would have Adam gotten hold of the apple?

SUPER SEXIST MOVIE ALERT!!!

This one stars Paris Hilton.
First: since when does she act?
Second: super sexist/ridiculous movie
Third: WTF is the world coming to? Oh right... general dickheadery... as usual.

UPDATE!

Wait, now the Afgan senate has withdrawn the death sentence confirmation. You can also sign a petition to save him here.

Guy Sentenced to Death for Reading About Feminism

This is just terrible.

A 23 year old Afghani journalism student who had the gall to download literature from a Farsi site stating that fundamentalists skewed the teaching of the Koran to oppress women has been sentenced to death.

Mr Kambaksh, 23, distributed the tract to fellow students and teachers at Balkh University with the aim, he said, of provoking a debate on the matter. But a complaint was made against him and he was arrested, tried by religious judges without – say his friends and family – being allowed legal representation and sentenced to death.

Fucking hell.

I Don't Know What to Think About This...

How much do you actually hate your period? Soon, you might not have to deal with it.
A new pill called Lybrel promises to eliminate your period ALL TOGETHER.

According to an article at Salon:

The pink pill, tag-lined "Fewer Periods. More Possibilities," was promoted as a lifestyle choice. The drug's current Web site offers a period planner allowing women to schedule their cycle around "vacations, business travel, romantic encounters, and family reunions." In other words, there is no need for public premenstrual breakdowns, missing a meeting because of debilitating cramps or dampening a sexual flame by having to bashfully explain it's "that time of the month." The take-away marketing message: A woman in control has menstruation under control.

On one hand, it sounds awesome. I could definitely do with less "public premenstrual breakdowns" myself. On the other, I like to know I am not pregnant. What do you think?

Thanks to Jezebel for the link