You Wanna Be On Top?

Ok, seeing as this is the first time I have ever actually watched America's Next Top Model in proper weekly fashion I have decided to live blog this episode. Especially since all my pretentious friends refused to watch it with me and let me to drink by myself. Thanks by the way...

So to get started....

I got super stoned and a little drunk. I watched two episodes of Bad Girl Club and about a half hour of the film version my favourite musical, Rent. I texted my boyfriend some cryptic messages (which were actually just lyrics from Rent/the ANTM theme song, “you Wanna Be on Top”.) I think he though that either he was on acid, I was on acid or I was a big dork. I am pretty sure he just assumed the third option.

So. About the episode...


Several points:

1.) The school girl outfits– totally ridiculous. So infantalizing. Aren’t these women mostly over 20?

2.) Really liked Marvita... until she was totally insensitive to the subject of FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION

3.) I super like Lauren’s look. Like of like Sarah Polley or someone Canadian. Also I love that she said she’s be perfectly happy at home watching home watching zombie movies

Oh!!! Crazy former ANTM cheerleaders!!!!!! So excited to see the twins!!!! Although I hated the uniforms, was super bored with the tired school girl fetish and I wished that Heather was there. Although she probably has cooler things to do. Like be cool and shit.

Tyra as the “homecoming queen” disturbing and creepy and homicidal. Like Carrie. She said she slept with all their boyfriends. Cougar. Just kidding

So much fighting. I have never seen so much fighting on a first episode.

Also, an aspiring lap dancer

So now for the serious stuff...

Fatima went though female genital mutilation. She said that winning the competition will give her a voice.

Even though ANTMs never really get anywhere....

But at least she might get to talk about it on the show. She was mutilated when she was seven.

Holy fucking hell.

Oh my God! One of the women is actually drinking her own breast milk!!!!!! So that her baby will be able to continue feeding when she comes home. Super bizarre!!! Kind of sweet but kind of weird!!!!